The Caring Place:  An Important Resource for Grieving Families

When a loved one dies, our lives are changed forever.  Experts have found that grieving is a lifelong process.  Children grieve differently than we do.  It's important for us to understand that so that we can help ourselves and our families through a loss. Highmark Healthy High 5 offers important information and tools for famlies to love happier, healthier lives:  Grieving, Bullying, Self-Esteem, Nutrition, and Childhood Obesity. Watch video clips from jennifer shows on these issues in the video box on these page.  Visit the quick links below for more.

Quick Links

Caring Place Video Tour

Caring Place Locations

Resources for Families

KidShape Program (for overweight children and their families)

"In times of stress, the best thing we can do for each other is to listen with our ears and our hearts and to be assured that our questions are just as important as our answers."

                                 ---Fred Rogers
Honory Chariman of the Caring Place from its inception until his death in 2003

How to Respond to Questions Grieving Children Ask 

Experts say the main thing we need to understand when helping our children grieve is that it's critically important to let them know that it's OK for them to be asking questions, and working through tough issues.  It's important to let them know that it's normal to feel confused, afraid, sad, overwhelmed, angry, and abandoned when a loved one dies....and it's normal for it to take a long time---really a lifetime---to work through the grieving process.

The best way to do that, is to make sure to tell them that!  Say the words "it's OK for you to be feeling this way."  Or, "you know, this is perfectly normal for you to be thinking these things."

If a child asks something you're struggling with yourself, it's OK for you to be honest about that.  You can say, "You know, I've often wondered about that myself.  Let's talk about it.  What do you think?"

According to counselors at the Highmark Caring Place, some of the most common questions grieving children ask include:

• Who else will die? 
• Who will take care of me?
• Why?
• Was it my fault?
• Is it my responsibility to take care of the family now?

As we think about the depth and the emotion in these questions, we need to realize that often to a child, they're looking for reassurances as much as answers.  They want and need to know that they are safe.  They will be taken care of.  That life will go on---in a different---but still happy way.

Information for this article was found in a Highmark Caring Place resource: Download it now

What Makes You Happy?

Coping with a death is such a big issue, it seems a little crazy to try to tackle it in a ten minute tip, but experts counsel families on the importance of taking baby steps to reach a larger goal.

So, dealing with a tragedy, like the loss of a loved one, stress levels of course are high.  Prolonged, unmanaged stress can cause many health problems.

Make it a priority to find and devote at least ten minutes a day a to doing whatever makes you happy.  For some, that might be journaling.  For others, maybe a walk brings relief. Others may enjoy talking with a friend.

Those little ten minutes of ME-time will go a long way to helping you along on your journey of healing.